Why is it, that when planning a wedding, my fiance turns into an additional bridal accessory in the eyes of many vendors?
Mr. Astrophe is a naturally quiet and reclusive soul. I am a more loud and flamboyant type. This compounds the problem, since in any given situation, I am the fast-talking, hands-waving half. So we get into meetings with vendors, and they don't even LOOK at Mr. Astrophe half the time, which pisses me off. They all assume that I am the BRIIIIIIDE and it is my SPESHUL DAAAAAY. And, I mean, it IS my special day, but it's just as much Mr. Astrophe's special day! They tend to seem actually shocked when I ask for his input into the whole thing, and downright astounded when I listen to it. What are full-blown "standard" brides like? Have their brains degenerated into clouds of tulle as a result of listening to innumerable spiels about "magical moments" and "real-life fairytales" and letterpress versus engraved invites?
A sort of additional annoyance is the difference in how I am treated once I mention the "W" word. So, for instance, I had a hair appointment today. My hair is very curly, which tends to unnerve stylists, as the current fashion is to have pin-straight hair (or so I am told), and it is apparently Not the Done Thing to allow your hair to roam free-range. (They don't seem to understand the concept of having neither time, skill, nor inclination to stand in front of a mirror for a full hour with a round brush, blowdryer, fine-toothed comb, and flatiron.) So I finally found a hair place where the stylists are cool with the idea of naturally curly hair left to do its natural thing. I've gotten a great cut every time, some good recommendations for products that take the frizz out of the curl without taking the curl out of the frizz, and I've been pleased as punch usually. Until today. The stylist asked "Are you growing it out?" and I innocently mentioned that I was getting married in October and that I was trying to grow my hair out enough to rock an updo for the wedding. (I've got a classy-looking dress, and I want to show off the cool neckline and back.) Her ENTIRE demeanor changed - "Well, we've GOT to straighten it, then!" She seemed so crestfallen at the idea that I might not want it straightened that I finally relented and let her take a flatiron to my head.
Let's get a couple things straight (haha) before I proceed. I have curly-ass hair. Not wavy, not slightly curly, but full-blown corkscrew curls capable of defying gravity. They stretch out like Slinkys and snap back into position with almost-audible force. As a girl, old women used to fondle my head and coo that I resembled Shirley Temple, at which point I usually kicked their walkers as hard as I could, and occasionally bit their hands. I now know that it takes a professional at least a full hour to straighten my hair, and that said professional might lose a couple combs in the process (my hair ate one of the combs, breaking off two teeth with alarming ease). After this lengthy ordeal, she showed me what I look like with straight hair. It looked cute. But then again, I'm a cute girl, so of course my hair looks cute on me. Then she says:
"Look at your hair! It's SOOO SEXY! You'll be SUCH A SEXY BRIDE!"
Like it wasn't sexy before, bitch? And I'm gonna have curly-ass hair for my wedding! As soon as an iota of humidity hits that shit, it's gonna be curly ANYWAY!
Time for a new stylist who doesn't have weird "people getting married must be straight of hair" issues.
Saturday, February 9, 2008
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3 comments:
One lady at one of the reception halls told me, "Oh, you don't need his input. After all, it's YOUR day." I politely reminded her I was getting married to someone, and therefore that made it OUR day. Then I walked out.
Have you had any experiences with vendors jacking up the prices of stuff once they hear the "W" word? I haven't yet but I'm waiting to.
A couple people have jacked up their prices - the explanation they GIVE you is that the higher prices reflect a "higher level of service." To which I reply "Does that mean if I hire you for a birthday party, you'll give me a LOW level of service??"
I find that it is best, if possible, to get a quote before saying the W-word. This isn't always feasible though, some people want to know type of event before anything else.
Haha! I'd love to see the look on their faces when you say that. Especially if someone behind you is hiring them for a birthday party.
I'm starting to look at florists and you're right, they ask right off what the event is. It's kind of hard to deal with vendors that way. Makes me wish I had the craftiness to DIY a lot of stuff.
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